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Think back to when you were young. Remember when all things seemed possible, when your future stretched before you like an endless road? You had hopes, dreams, and plans, and you were certain that nothing would stand in your way. But then life happened, with its unexpected detours. Some were good, some not so good. Failed relationships, demoralizing jobs, and mounting responsibilities took their toll. People told you that the dreams of your youth were foolish and naiveyou needed to “get real” and “just deal with it.”

At some point, you made an agreement with yourself that those people must be right. What made you think that you were special? Why couldn’t you just accept that who you are and what you have are all that will ever be? Still, deep down, you wonder, “What if?” What if those people were wrong, and you somehow could get back on that road you once envisioned and realize some of your long-ago dreams? Well, I’m here to tell you that you can! How do I know? Because I’ve been there, and I’ve experienced it myself.

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My name is Pam Mattys, and I’m a certified life coach and workshop facilitator. I currently live in Oregon, but I’m originally from Hawaii — two of the most beautiful places in the world. I spent most of my career as an executive administrative assistant, supporting senior leaders at such organizations as the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, Intel, and the Chief’s Office of the Portland Police Bureau. In 2018, I retired from my admin career to pursue what I’d long known is my true calling: helping women reach their highest potential.

How life coaching can help you

You might have heard about life coaching, but maybe you’re not sure what it involves. Life coaching is a process of self-discovery in which a trained, objective, nonjudgmental third party helps you figure out your goals, priorities, and stumbling blocks by guiding you in the direction you want to go but that you can’t see clearly on your own. I’ll ask you questions, encourage you, make you focus, and prompt you to look deeply and honestly into yourself. Once we determine your primary goal, I’ll help you create small, achievable action steps that will enable you to reach that goal. I’ll also hold you accountable for carrying them out.

Life coaching vs. counseling or therapy

Life coaching is based on the assumption that you already know the answers to your questions, but that you just need help finding them. Although I’ll occasionally share personal experiences when they’re relevant and helpful, my job is not to give advice, but to listen to you — to truly hear what you’re saying — and to act as a guide. Coaching undoubtedly will cause emotional issues to arise and make you aware of self-defeating behaviors that have been holding you back. Some issues, however, are too deep and painful to be helped by coaching. In such cases, you’re better served by a professional therapist, counselor, or psychoanalyst, who use different approaches and skills.

My training and background

I’m a Certified Life, Spiritual, and Energetic Coach, having completed the Artist of the Spirit coaching program taught by Diana Adkins. I’m also a Certified Facilitator for HeatherAsh Amara’s Warrior Goddess Foundations Training workshop. HeatherAsh developed the Warrior Goddess Way to help empower women, having apprenticed for several years under Don Miguel Ruiz, author of the best-selling book The Four Agreements.

Aside from my formal training, I have considerable experience in the school of life. It includes divorce, single motherhood, financial difficulties, hostile work environments, self-doubt, and being the proverbial “fish out of water,” trying to remain true to my Hawaiian values in the tougher Mainland culture. Whatever you’re going through, I can empathize. I’ve also been blessed. Many people — sometimes complete strangers — have helped me and shown me kindness. I have a wonderful husband and two fine sons. I reached a level in my previous career that I never would have dreamed possible.

My spiritual beliefs

I’m a Christian who believes in a loving God. Without my faith, I don’t know how I would have survived some of the traumatic events in my life. I believe that we’re all equal in God’s eyes, regardless of skin color, ethnicity, sexual orientation, nationality, income level, profession, or any of the other differences that humans use to divide and devalue one another. I also have a deep respect for the beliefs of others. I grew up surrounded by Native Hawaiian culture, which is profoundly spiritual. Hawaiians practice “living aloha,” which means living in harmony with people, nature, and the land. It involves respect and appreciation for the joys and mysteries of life: family, friends, work, food, the arts, and the sacred. Ultimately, I believe that what’s important is how a person treats others, rather than whether they adhere to some obscure set of dogmatic details that was created by humans. In short, I welcome all women who come to me with a sincere and open heart, regardless of your spiritual beliefs.

My areas of expertise

Although I coach women of all ages, I specialize in helping mid- and late-career women deal with the challenges they face in their personal and professional lives. Here are some common issues:

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Swimming with the sharks

Are you in a hostile work environment, with a toxic culture, a bully boss, or coworkers who are trying to sabotage you? Do you despise corporate politics but realize that you can’t avoid them? Do your coworkers tell you that you’re “weird” or “sensitive”? Do you want to succeed in your career but remain true to your values? I’ll teach you skills to swim with the sharks without becoming one or being eaten by them — and how to make them respect you, if not necessarily like you.

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Supermom! The myth

I’m sure you’ve heard that “you can have it all”: relationship, career, motherhood, volunteer work, hobbies — because you’re an Empowered Modern Woman. So why isn’t that happening for you, especially if you’re a single mom, trying to juggle family and career? Because “having it all” (at least all at the same time) is a myth. I’ll help you prioritize, do the best you can, and not beat yourself up for what you can’t do.

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Breaking old patterns

Do you engage in self-defeating behaviors that you can’t seem to change? Maybe it’s eating too much, choosing inappropriate romantic partners, or never finishing projects. Our habits (good and bad) were formed when we were too young to understand them; we simply learned what pleased our parents and what didn’t. By figuring out where these old patterns came from, we can replace them with new — and healthier — ones.

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Sister, you’re stylin’!

Are you concerned about your clothes, your weight, your face, your mannerisms, your hairstyle, or any other aspect of yourself that’s visible to the outside world? If so, join the club! Society and the media bombard us with ideals of perfection we’re supposed to live up to — when, in fact, there’s no such thing, and nobody is “perfect.” I’ll help you learn to trust your intuition and discover and embrace your personal style.

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Staying young at heart

George Bernard Shaw famously said, “Youth is wasted on the young.” If you, like me, are of a certain age, you probably wonder how to remain relevant in our youth-obsessed culture — especially at work, where age discrimination is all too common. There was a time when age was respected for the wisdom and experience that go with it. We mature folk have plenty to offer to the world, and we need to keep active, engaged, and upbeat. It ain’t over till it’s over!

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Taking time for self-care

Increasing rudeness, political polarization, road rage, job stress… Some experts believe that modern-day life has become more complicated than humans are able to deal with. So how do you cope? By finding what grounds and relaxes you, be it walking in nature, scheduling a spa day, indulging in a hobby, taking a hot bath, reading a good book, or meditating. You need to be good to yourself so you can be at your best for others.

In summary…

If you’re a woman who needs a helping hand and a kind heart to guide you toward becoming the best version of yourself that you can be, then contact me to schedule a complimentary, get-acquainted session in which I can learn about what you want to achieve from coaching and you can get a feeling for my style and personality. If we agree that we’re a good fit for each other, then we’ll take it from there and design a coaching program that will enable you to achieve your goals.

You, my sister, are stronger than you know!

Love and aloha,